Just to toot my own horn a bit, I lost an amazing 4 pounds this week. I really worked hard last week. After being on vacation so long, I really wanted to put up some nice numbers to stay on track with my goals. I'm seriously considering getting a personal trainer in August to help me finish this leg of the journey. Since I've already done so much of this on my own, it would be nice to finish on my own, but I'm open to the idea of help. All that matters is reaching that finish line so that I can move into maintenance. I know I will never be obese again. That is a promise I have made to myself. I love this beautiful body God has given me too much not to take care of it. Afterall, this is the only one I'll get. At 40, I want to still look and feel young. I don't want years of bad choices to make me look old before I get there. I want my husband and children to be proud of me. I never want to be the mother who embarrasses their child every time they come to the school. I want my children to beam with pride when they introduce me to their teachers, friends, and classmates. At 240 pounds, I was the "fat" Mommy. Young children make the most honest observations I have ever heard. The last thing I want is for my children to experience an ounce of pain due to their Mommy's appearance.
My husband is in the military which obviously focuses heavily on weight. At 240, I was one of those spouses that "needed to lose a few pounds". My husband is amazing, and loves me unconditionally, but I want to be a prize on his arm, not someone that his co-workers joke about behind his back. I don't want to be the wife with the "pretty face". Simply the "pretty wife" works for me.
At 166, I don't get nearly as many "your face is so pretty" comments. At this point, I am no longer plus size. Now it is about meeting my goal. It is about the confidence that comes with proving that I can do anything I set my mind to. This decision to get in shape and stay that way has to be one of the single most important decisions I have ever made. In this moment, I love me for loving me enough to do this!
Monday, June 16, 2008
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Finally!!
After two months of maintenance and vacationing I am finally back on track and losing. During the past two months I have lost, but much slower than I have grown accustomed too. I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with my wonderful family, but if I'm going to lose this remaining 38 pounds by this fall, I have to get back on track.
I took my measurements today and I have steadily lost inches, so that is a good thing. More people have been noticing my weight loss, so it must be due to the inches coming off. My waist for one is really slimming down and shaping up. If only my hips and thighs would follow suit.
I have set a very aggressive goal for the next two weeks so I plan to spend more time in the gym. Thinking about previous weight loss efforts has brought I strange realization to me. I lose weight best when I walk! I love the elliptical and other gym equipment, but what works best for me is good old fashion walking. Once I started using the treadmill, my legs really began to slim and shape up. I loved the results so much, I kept using it. I remember when I first made the cheerleading squad back in junior high school. I weighed around 120 and felt sooooooo FAT! I spent the summer before my 9th grade year walking the track at a junior high in my neighborhood. When I went back to school, everyone noticed how much weight I'd lost, and all I'd done was walk. Fast forward to early 2003, about 3 or 4 months after I knew for sure I wasn't having any more children. I decided it was time for me to get into shape. I was roughly a size 16 (some 18's). The apartment complex I lived in had a 24hr fitness room and I began working out 5 mornings a week. That was when I first discovered the elliptical. I fell in love with it b/c it was low impact and thus VERY easy for me. I toned pretty well, but lost very little. Up until a little while ago I thought that was b/c I still ate crap. That may have been part of the reason, but I now believe it had a lot to do with the fact that the elliptical does not provide the type of workout that gives my body the best results. Fastforward to last November when I made the decision to get and stay in shape. When I went into the gym, I immediately went to the elliptical. I thought since I loved that machine it was "best" for me. In all fairness, I did lose a little, but I got MUCH better results once I started walking on the treadmill and treadclimber. I guess the point is, the machine that is harder for me to do is best b/c it's pushing my body to work harder.
All gym equipment is NOT created equal. What works for me and my body may not work for you and yours. Which gym equipment works best for you? How does your body achieve optimal results?
I took my measurements today and I have steadily lost inches, so that is a good thing. More people have been noticing my weight loss, so it must be due to the inches coming off. My waist for one is really slimming down and shaping up. If only my hips and thighs would follow suit.
I have set a very aggressive goal for the next two weeks so I plan to spend more time in the gym. Thinking about previous weight loss efforts has brought I strange realization to me. I lose weight best when I walk! I love the elliptical and other gym equipment, but what works best for me is good old fashion walking. Once I started using the treadmill, my legs really began to slim and shape up. I loved the results so much, I kept using it. I remember when I first made the cheerleading squad back in junior high school. I weighed around 120 and felt sooooooo FAT! I spent the summer before my 9th grade year walking the track at a junior high in my neighborhood. When I went back to school, everyone noticed how much weight I'd lost, and all I'd done was walk. Fast forward to early 2003, about 3 or 4 months after I knew for sure I wasn't having any more children. I decided it was time for me to get into shape. I was roughly a size 16 (some 18's). The apartment complex I lived in had a 24hr fitness room and I began working out 5 mornings a week. That was when I first discovered the elliptical. I fell in love with it b/c it was low impact and thus VERY easy for me. I toned pretty well, but lost very little. Up until a little while ago I thought that was b/c I still ate crap. That may have been part of the reason, but I now believe it had a lot to do with the fact that the elliptical does not provide the type of workout that gives my body the best results. Fastforward to last November when I made the decision to get and stay in shape. When I went into the gym, I immediately went to the elliptical. I thought since I loved that machine it was "best" for me. In all fairness, I did lose a little, but I got MUCH better results once I started walking on the treadmill and treadclimber. I guess the point is, the machine that is harder for me to do is best b/c it's pushing my body to work harder.
All gym equipment is NOT created equal. What works for me and my body may not work for you and yours. Which gym equipment works best for you? How does your body achieve optimal results?
Monday, June 9, 2008
Back from Vacation!
After two weeks in the States with my family, I am very proud to announce I did not gain weight!!! Go me, it's my birthday, go me it's my birthday!
A little background info: I come from a family of mostly overweight people. To my knowledge only one person is working on their weight right now. Everyone else pretty much eats whatever, so dieting around all that fattening food is not always easy. Fortunately for me though, I really have no desire to eat the way I once did. Portion control has finally become second nature, the thought of a greasy burger make me wanna gag, and most sugary foods are WAY too sweet. I went to one of my favorite restaurants (Smokey Bones) and ordered an appetizer as opposed to a entree and actually shared with my kids. I now know how to eat until satisfied, not stuffed! My body is definitely thanking me for treating it better. I can now sit for longer periods of time without feeling like my buns are going to fall off. I can cross my legs without my knees screaming in pain. I can walk for hours without my feet yelling in agony. I can go up and down stairs without feeling like I need an oxygen tank. The list goes on and on. Most recently I noticed that my monthly friend has decided to start showing up on time again (maybe TMI). For nearly a year it was complete guess work, and it never occured to me it was b/c of my weight. It's amazig how much stress being overweight causes for your body. It literally affects every area. Also, my chronic heartburn is gone! It would get so bad at times that I'd sit awake rocking in the middle of the bed at night b/c nothing would soothe it. I'd wake my poor husband numerous times throughout the night.
On a purely physical note, it felt great not to shop in the plus size section anymore! At first I felt like a fish out of water b/c I couldn't shop in any of my favorite stores anymore. I kept thinking to myself, "Where do little people shop"? I even had to take a few 12's back to the store b/c they were too big! While wearing a size 10 outfit I bought, I kept saying to myself, "I can't freaking believe I'm wearing a 10 right now! A 10! I'm wearing a 10!" I felt like I could have literally lept over a mountain that day. That feeling is almost like a drug. Though I've never tried drugs, the feeling is so addictive, it must be similar to what addicts experience.
In addition to that feeling there is also the little voice in my head that continues to point out all of my imperfections. The stretchmarks I'll never be able to get rid of. The thighs that still need so much work. I think the remaining 40 pounds is almost completely in my lower half. There are days when I still look in the mirror and get grossed out. I still look at myself and see a fat girl! I find myself still referring to myself as a "big girl". Though the scale and my clothing both say otherwise, my mind still plays tricks on me. I know that if I am not careful that is going to be a big issue for me. I've had people to tell me I don't need to lose another 40, that 40 may be too much. I find it frustrating that when you are obese, people look at you and think/say, "She needs to lose weight", but then when you start losing, they wanna put a limit on the amount you can lose. What gives them the right?!?!?... ok, sorry, a little moment there. I had a few people upset me with their comments in case you can't tell. One person actually had the nerve to say, "Don't lose 40 more, if you just lose 15 more you'll look great!" How dare you, I look great now. How dare you tell me how much weight I do or don't need to lose! Where did you go to medical school? Ok, another moment, but I'm done with that now!
I am more determined than ever to reach my goal. All of the vacationing is behind me and I can finally focus on losing the rest of this weight before my husband returns home for good! Only 4 months left and I want his eyes to pop out of his head when he sees me! Wish me luck!!!
A little background info: I come from a family of mostly overweight people. To my knowledge only one person is working on their weight right now. Everyone else pretty much eats whatever, so dieting around all that fattening food is not always easy. Fortunately for me though, I really have no desire to eat the way I once did. Portion control has finally become second nature, the thought of a greasy burger make me wanna gag, and most sugary foods are WAY too sweet. I went to one of my favorite restaurants (Smokey Bones) and ordered an appetizer as opposed to a entree and actually shared with my kids. I now know how to eat until satisfied, not stuffed! My body is definitely thanking me for treating it better. I can now sit for longer periods of time without feeling like my buns are going to fall off. I can cross my legs without my knees screaming in pain. I can walk for hours without my feet yelling in agony. I can go up and down stairs without feeling like I need an oxygen tank. The list goes on and on. Most recently I noticed that my monthly friend has decided to start showing up on time again (maybe TMI). For nearly a year it was complete guess work, and it never occured to me it was b/c of my weight. It's amazig how much stress being overweight causes for your body. It literally affects every area. Also, my chronic heartburn is gone! It would get so bad at times that I'd sit awake rocking in the middle of the bed at night b/c nothing would soothe it. I'd wake my poor husband numerous times throughout the night.
On a purely physical note, it felt great not to shop in the plus size section anymore! At first I felt like a fish out of water b/c I couldn't shop in any of my favorite stores anymore. I kept thinking to myself, "Where do little people shop"? I even had to take a few 12's back to the store b/c they were too big! While wearing a size 10 outfit I bought, I kept saying to myself, "I can't freaking believe I'm wearing a 10 right now! A 10! I'm wearing a 10!" I felt like I could have literally lept over a mountain that day. That feeling is almost like a drug. Though I've never tried drugs, the feeling is so addictive, it must be similar to what addicts experience.
In addition to that feeling there is also the little voice in my head that continues to point out all of my imperfections. The stretchmarks I'll never be able to get rid of. The thighs that still need so much work. I think the remaining 40 pounds is almost completely in my lower half. There are days when I still look in the mirror and get grossed out. I still look at myself and see a fat girl! I find myself still referring to myself as a "big girl". Though the scale and my clothing both say otherwise, my mind still plays tricks on me. I know that if I am not careful that is going to be a big issue for me. I've had people to tell me I don't need to lose another 40, that 40 may be too much. I find it frustrating that when you are obese, people look at you and think/say, "She needs to lose weight", but then when you start losing, they wanna put a limit on the amount you can lose. What gives them the right?!?!?... ok, sorry, a little moment there. I had a few people upset me with their comments in case you can't tell. One person actually had the nerve to say, "Don't lose 40 more, if you just lose 15 more you'll look great!" How dare you, I look great now. How dare you tell me how much weight I do or don't need to lose! Where did you go to medical school? Ok, another moment, but I'm done with that now!
I am more determined than ever to reach my goal. All of the vacationing is behind me and I can finally focus on losing the rest of this weight before my husband returns home for good! Only 4 months left and I want his eyes to pop out of his head when he sees me! Wish me luck!!!
Sunday, May 18, 2008
SIZE 12!!!
Okay, so maybe I'm just terrible at figuring out what size I actually wear b/c today I tried on two pairs of jeans (both 12R) and they both fit perfectly! I can't wrap my mind around the fact that a size 12 actually fits me. I guess I should back up a little. Yesterday I picked up a pair of jeans to wear when I go visit my family. I got a 14R b/c thats the size I thought would fit (nothing is more deflating than trying on clothes that are too small). When I picked them up, I thought they were cut kinda small, so I was leary about getting them. Then I figured, what the heck, if they don't fit I can just keep working hard until they do. So I get home and try the jeans on and they are pretty loose. If I were at goal I would have probably just worn them with a belt, but since I still have a long way to go, I thought it would be stupid to keep pants that I would only be able to wear for a month or so. Well, today I returned the jeans, and tried on a 12 in the same brand. The 12's fit perfectly, so I got two of them.
I intentionally shopped in the juniors section for the first time (the women's section here sucks). Being able to walk pass the plus size section just blows my mind. I've been a plus size girl my entire adult life. Part of me still feels like I am. I guess it will take time for my brain to catch up with my weight loss.
On a side note, I have a new best friend... well, second best. My crock-pot still holds the first spot, but this appliance is a close second and rounding third headed for home. Anyway, the mystery appliance is my new George Foreman grill. I have no idea why I waited all these years to get one, but I am so glad I finally did. I can come home from work, throw soem chicken or turkey breast on there and in no time I have perfectly cooked, tender juicy meat! It's like heaven in my kitchen. I use it almost everyday. With veggies slow cooking in the crock-pot while I'm at work and meat on the George Foreman while I'm changing out of my work clothes, I can have dinner on the table within 15 of arriving home. For a woman that doesn't like to spend much time in the kitchen these inventions are the best thing since sliced bread!
I intentionally shopped in the juniors section for the first time (the women's section here sucks). Being able to walk pass the plus size section just blows my mind. I've been a plus size girl my entire adult life. Part of me still feels like I am. I guess it will take time for my brain to catch up with my weight loss.
On a side note, I have a new best friend... well, second best. My crock-pot still holds the first spot, but this appliance is a close second and rounding third headed for home. Anyway, the mystery appliance is my new George Foreman grill. I have no idea why I waited all these years to get one, but I am so glad I finally did. I can come home from work, throw soem chicken or turkey breast on there and in no time I have perfectly cooked, tender juicy meat! It's like heaven in my kitchen. I use it almost everyday. With veggies slow cooking in the crock-pot while I'm at work and meat on the George Foreman while I'm changing out of my work clothes, I can have dinner on the table within 15 of arriving home. For a woman that doesn't like to spend much time in the kitchen these inventions are the best thing since sliced bread!
Monday, May 12, 2008
Back with a renewed Vigor!!
Well I guess I should say that I spent the last three weeks in maintenance mode. While my husband was home there was so much going on that it was almost impossible to focus on losing weight. I think I did as well as can be expected, but of course I wish I had done better. For the most part I realized I have just about mastered portion control. I also realized that I still need a lot of work on staying focused and resisting poor food choices. My husband bought two packs of pecan sandies cookies, and I didn't eat a single one, but we stopped for a scoop of ice cream at least 7 or 8 times. I think it's something about being able to see the nutritional facts that does it for me. I didn't eat the cookies because I read the pack and saw that there were like 80 cal per cookie. The ice cream though was this amazingly good Greek ice cream with flavors I have never dreamed of. The hazelnut tasted just like a butterfinger, and most of the flavors they carry are more like a sherbert than the creamy ice cream we have in America.... okay, I'm supposed to be talking about refocusing here, not ice cream!
Anyhoo, I feel refreshed and ready to complete the weight loss phase of this journey and move into maintenance. Only 44 pounds to go.... so close compared to the 110 I started out with. One of the pairs of size 14 pants I ordered is actually too big! That was one of the things that helped me regroup. The thought of being able to go down to a 12 is VERY appealing to me. I want to get this weight off and keep it off for life! Also, I want the feeling of accomplishment that comes with reaching a goal. I'll be able to say, "I did this". With no surgery, or weight loss pills, I lost a whopping 110 pounds. I decided I wanted to do it, and I worked my butt off (literally) until I reached my goal. At this stage of my life.... there is no better feeling!
Anyhoo, I feel refreshed and ready to complete the weight loss phase of this journey and move into maintenance. Only 44 pounds to go.... so close compared to the 110 I started out with. One of the pairs of size 14 pants I ordered is actually too big! That was one of the things that helped me regroup. The thought of being able to go down to a 12 is VERY appealing to me. I want to get this weight off and keep it off for life! Also, I want the feeling of accomplishment that comes with reaching a goal. I'll be able to say, "I did this". With no surgery, or weight loss pills, I lost a whopping 110 pounds. I decided I wanted to do it, and I worked my butt off (literally) until I reached my goal. At this stage of my life.... there is no better feeling!
Friday, May 9, 2008
I've been tagged
Okay, here goes, I hope I'm doing this right!
Four Jobs I've Held:
Preschool Teacher
Front Desk Clerk
Staffing Supervisor
Family Readiness Support Assistant
Four Movies I Could Watch Over And Over Again:
The Color Purple
What A Girl Wants
Where the Heart Is
The Matrix (all three)
Four Places I've Lived:
Dillon, SC
Charlotte, NC
Columbus, GA
Vilseck, Germany
Four Shows I Like To Waste My Time On:
America's Next Top Model
CBS Soaps
Dancing with the Stars
Law and Order SVU
Four Of My Favourite Foods:
Chicken wings
Broccoli
Corn
Chicken breast
Four Places I'd Like To Be:
Paris
London
Anywhere in Italy
Anywhere in Spain
I don't know many bloggers, but I tag http://www.myso-calledfatlife.blogspot.com/ and any others that may read this and want to get in on it.
Four Jobs I've Held:
Preschool Teacher
Front Desk Clerk
Staffing Supervisor
Family Readiness Support Assistant
Four Movies I Could Watch Over And Over Again:
The Color Purple
What A Girl Wants
Where the Heart Is
The Matrix (all three)
Four Places I've Lived:
Dillon, SC
Charlotte, NC
Columbus, GA
Vilseck, Germany
Four Shows I Like To Waste My Time On:
America's Next Top Model
CBS Soaps
Dancing with the Stars
Law and Order SVU
Four Of My Favourite Foods:
Chicken wings
Broccoli
Corn
Chicken breast
Four Places I'd Like To Be:
Paris
London
Anywhere in Italy
Anywhere in Spain
I don't know many bloggers, but I tag http://www.myso-calledfatlife.blogspot.com/ and any others that may read this and want to get in on it.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Officially a 14!
I posted back in March when I bought a pair of size 14 pants and they fit, but I didn't count that as my "official" size as they were a little snug, plus they had "stretch" in them. So I bought another pair of 14's, this time jeans though with no stretch. I thought I got them from the ladies section, but somehow I picked them up from juniors.... what was I thinking.... I guess I wasn't. Anywho, the 14R from the junior section now fits perfectly (plus I've gotten some other 14's here and there and every single piece fits!!!). I wore the jeans yesterday and my husband kept telling me how great I looked. He said he loved the jeans on me, and my legs looked... are you ready for this?.... SKINNY!!!! He said my legs looked skinny!!! I can't freaking believe it. I realize they aren't really skinny, but they are much smaller than they were when he saw me last. My legs still need the most work as I am a pear shape, but he said they looked skinny! If that's the case then the rest of me must look skinny too since the legs still have the most fat. I am beyond proud of myself for finally making the decision to do something about my health and appearance.
I don't think anyone should settle for "I'm just big boned", or "I'll never be thin". I just don't believe those statements are true. There was a time in my life when I did, but now I know better. I will never be a size 2 (simply b/c I don't want to be), but I am on my way to thin. I only have 44 pounds left to lose to reach my goal of 130 which will probably be about a size 8 on me, which is perfect. I don't need to be any smaller than that. That will be a healthy size and weight for my height which is in turn healthy for my heart. I find myself listening to other overweight women and hearing them say the same things I once said almost hurts. It hurts b/c I know most of them say it for the same reason I did. To avoid the pain that comes from being overweight. No one wants to be overweight. No one wants to be called fat. No one wants to only be able to shop in certain stores b/c they can't fit regular sizes. Thats not fun or encouraging for anyone. I'm going back to the States to visit my family in a few weeks, and I am looking forward to shopping in regular stores again.
I know I still have a very long way to go with my weight loss, but I have made a huge accomplishment and I am going to reward myself for it. Not everyone can say they have lost 66 pounds, so this hard work deserves a treat. My husband wants to lose 40 pounds and I still have the remaining 44 so we have given ourselves until October to do it. If we both reach our goals, we are going on a cruise to reward ourselves. I'm very excited about that as I've never been on a cruise before. Then once I maintain my weight loss for one year I am treating myself to a breast lift. I always thought I'd go for the tummy tuck, but my tummy is flattening quite nicely, so breast lift it is. I can't wait. It feels so good to actually plan these long term goals as if I am already there.
Here is a pic of me from our vacation, which by the way was amazing, so I'll include a pic of the view from our balcony as well! I love the mountains!!!
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